Re: adventure and a relationship(was Hello Grace! ~~ Sleep Baby Jane~~ Patience)

[rhys daily <shadow at teuton_org>]

7On Sat, 9 Mar 2002, Heather Swinger wrote:

> grad school out west, but there's this guy...  So let me toss out a
> question for any on the orchard willing to throw in their two cents:
> how would you chose if you had to pick between heading off into a new
> adventure and hoping that certain someone will be able to follow you
> eventually, and sticking with that certain someone and seeking
> whatever adventure comes the way of both of you?  Many questions, and
> much

well let's see.

first - is this mostly your concern or has he expressed some desire about
it? as in , would he not want you to go or does he think it's good.

if he does't want you to go - ask yourself this, would HE want to go and
expect you to support it?

if so , he's dumb. (:

you have dreams too - go for it. if htis is what you really really want,
then do it. you will regret not taking the risk later, although it's also
a risk to stay and see wha thappens.  but don't get in the habit of
giving up your dreams to see what comes for both of you.  often what that
really translates into is 'what adventures happen to him, i will follow'.
do your own thing too.

that being said, you have to look at how important this is to you - him or
grad school. is this once-in-a-lifetime? either of them? distance makes
things hard, but committment is committment and it can work long-distance.

i date a guy. he lives 1.5 hours away. granted that's not the same as WAY
out west, but... this summer he will be away up in the top of idaho. last
summer he was in switzerland. and see, how small would i be to stand in
his way? so i look at the options and see what's good and make a
recommendation. and i think it's good. i don't deny i will be lonely, but
hey - we're gonna do alpine stuff. and i know i am always welcome and he
wants me to join him. and if my job weren't in the way, i'd go with. while
he's gone i will climb and do stuff on my own. and when he comes back, we
will do stuff together and seperately.

it's important to be a whole person on your own. your guy should just add
to you. make it more.

so go - have a great time. (:

rhys

-- 
Carpe Aptenodytes! (Seize the Penguins!)


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References:

• adventure and a relationship(was Hello Grace! ~~ Sleep Baby Jane ~~ Patience)
• From: Heather Swinger <heather_swinger at tayloru_edu>

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