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Re: i hate to lurk nothing

kelvin wrote, in response to the self-proclaimed plain jane:

> We're all gonna die - that sucks...but it's real.

interesting, but this comment caught my eye.

does it really suck that we're all going to die?  i don't think it does, not 
in the slightest.

i don't fear death.  i fear the death of those around me, yes, and i also 
fear the thought that i may leave this world in a fashion completely painful, 
but i do not fear the thought of my death.  i think this is for several 
reasons.

first of all, i do not believe in much, but i *do* believe that everyone is 
put on earth for a reason, to accomplish *something*.  i was put on earth to 
accomplish something.  and once i accomplish whatever this something is, then 
i will not have a reason to live anymore.  i know that, when i die, it will 
be because i have done what i am meant to do, and in knowing that, i can die 
peacefully.

another reason why i am not afraid of death, and why i do not feel that we 
would be better off as being immortal is my love of children.  when i see 
children growing, learning the world they live in, speaking words for the 
first time, understanding directions, pointing in the air at a 
helicopter...when they grab my hand and drag me in a circle, run over to me 
and give me a hug or a kiss, when they hide their head in my shoulder and 
fall asleep...it makes me realize that *they* are the real reason for living. 
 for me, anyway.  and if we don't die, if we don't give way for them to grow 
and produce children and see what i see...well...what would be the point of 
living?

i love life.  i love my family, my friends, my fiance, my course of work.  i 
hope that i will live to see my children grow and flourish, and that i will 
be able to house foster children, to give them a home and the love that was 
denied them in their own families.  i hope to live to a ripe old age, holding 
chuck's hand while sitting on a porch swing, watching our grandchildren run 
around in our yard.  and if this is not to be, i will be sad.  but i also 
know that it wasn't to be.

so, i don't fear death.  i don't lie down and await it, but i don't fear it's 
cold grip either.

but i'm done rambling.  thanks for reading this, if you have.

*hugz and kisses*
jessyka
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