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Re: no more brian.(warning, I added some "intellectual psychobabble bulls***)
With her eyes wide open to the secret forest beyond those tear-filled
trees, Ysobelle, now poised, asked:
> Is it the band? Or is it us? How many people went to the morning-after at Kaldi's? Is it the band? Or us?
See, I thought of this as I was typing out my last post. I mean, I even
thought of Kaldi's and how only two people showed up.
For me, I wasn't there because I wasn't even near Cincy that weekend. I
was here, and I was here because I was ambivalent. I couldn't bear to
go to a show where I knew I would bid goodbye to Brian in his capacity
as drummer to OtR. I wanted to go, but I was angry, hurt, confused,
shocked.
So why didn't anyone go? Perhaps it *is* us. Perhaps we are a
reflection of the band's condition. But if it is us, then we're
mirroring what we're seeing.
consider:
Why didn't anyone show up at Kaldi's in May?
Why didn't anyone post a review/setlist from Moonlight?
Why didn't anyone know of Brian's last show?
Why didn't anyone discuss Anyway, or IWR from ASR?
Why didn't I receive that last spy-letter I was promised?
Why did Scampering Songs get changed to Grey Ghost?
Why did Terri almost get dropped from the line-up?
Why does it feel like were being "wooed" by Linford's letters now?
I can't sum it up. I don't think I have the words. But if I try, it
just seems like the band that I met one gorgeously rainy Sunday
afternoon is now lost somewhere in the storm. I can sometimes hear
them; I can sometimes sense them; but lots of times I'm just forced to
believe they're out there, moving around somewhere, holding hands and
trying to stay together--maybe sometimes not even trying. Sometimes I
get glimpse of them, but they've taken on some sort of surreal quality.
They aren't like I remember them to be before they were lost in the
fog. I trust that they in fact are the same--I mean still on the same
journey-- but sometimes the feelings I get don't back that up. It's a
strange feeling. There have been numerous times that it wasn't a good
feeling.
And the band played on...
Granted, I'll still take OtR over just about any other band out there on
most days of the week, but sometimes I think of Rhapsodie, and I think
"were living that song--artists and fans." And I know that there are
"things" that have shaped these decisions. I know of things that few
others know of, and I know of things that many others know of. I also
know that there are things that I have no idea of. I try not to be
picky, but I still have an opinion (and if you're right here, right now,
you pretty much know all about it).
Sorry for the length, I've become increasingly fond of the short,
concise post, but obviously this one isn't one of them.
-m
"Away, I'm bound away,
You rolling river."
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