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good reads, modesty



Bink enlightens us (I'm not being sarcastic) with:

>I heard an interview with her on NPR several weeks ago. I have to say,
>from my humble male point of view, that modesty is often more alluring
>to me than the typical "flesh-o-rama" style of dress. From a sexual
>point of view, seeing lots of skin certainly can be arousing, but when
>I see an attractive woman in a nicely fitted dress a la 1930s there is
>something much more erotic and appealing to me.

It's nice to discuss this with a man b/c often our viewpoints get sort of 
slanted and stay confined in our femininity.  Thanks for bringing all this 
to the table.  I often wonder what men really think about all this.

Ya know, I find the ideas you mentioned to be true of many of my male 
friends.  I seem to find that women feel a better sense of their worth in 
such a "system," if I may.  Shalit talks a lot about safety in her book and 
how modesty guards it.  Still, I like to focus more on the worth issues.  I 
personally know a lot of women who are pretty vulnerable and who have given 
away every view and every tangible part of their sexuality to many people 
b/c they seek that affirmation of their worth in such partners and 
onlookers.  It's really screwed them up, and they're dealing with lots of 
stuff b/c of it.  I think there's definitely something to it.

And from my perspective as a woman, I feel more beautiful in modesty.  It's 
not just confined to the kind of things you wear, it's definitely an 
attitude.  I find that the type of respect that it warrants is pretty 
special too.  And you don't have to say a thing!  It's really funny...it's 
just natural.  Shalit also mentions that unspoken challenge that a woman 
like this can make- to that one man who'll be the one.  I'm a hopeless 
romantic too :)

So, which song are you covering?  Is it to remain a mystery "forever"??  
I've heard you guys go back and forth about it but never was the song 
mentioned unless I missed a message or something (possible).  Has anyone 
heard from the band?  Do they know that you guys are hammering away at this 
fun project?  I like the idea of a ball.

I have been wondering about Flannery O'Connor.  I know that many of you like 
his work  Although I knew of him, I somehow missed out on his work in my 
"excellent" American education.  As a grad student in Spanish, I doubt it 
will show up in my reading lists....so?  What's all the hype, and what would 
be the first book to read of his?

Ciao-
Marie


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