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imagine...



sarah said:

It's truly never gonna happen but we 
can 
think about it and smile for a moment.

No need for greed or hunger. No need to fight and die.
Just everybody 
as one 
happy group. Notice that Lennon calls himself a
"dreamer."

--->i think of myself that way too.  and somehow the
most dreamlike and wonderful things aspire to a
reality that is beyond me in my current life.  beyond
my ways.  beyond my dirty footsteps.

so when i want to go beyond, i'm thinking of something
that's not "human" in those senses.  not a humanist
ideal.  that song is a humanist, utopian ideal.

i'm the last person to say, "well, yeah, i think
hunger and war are just great."  but there are two
possible motivations for how i really "feel," and the
one that wins out for the "good of mankind" is weak,
tired, weary, and selfish.  not the one i want even if
it is the most natural to me and my condition.  the
irony is that often what is good for me is not the
thing that i find the most "pleasure" in---losing my
life to gain it, is it?

i want to see those dreads erased, but i don't think
they will be by destroying the one who is our only
hope.  in this case: the divine.

in the most basic sense, i'm with lennon and many who
say, "quit shoving it down my throat."  i don't think
shoving is even effective/logical/true.  seems to
defeat the whole point actually.  but nor would i
erase any part of this picture that i clearly do not
understand in its entirety.  that means i'm not
writing off god just b/c people do terrible things.  

i'm not going to allow the age-old practice of casting
our prefered image of him over who he might actually
be b/c it suits me.  sure i do it, but i'm not going
to allow myself to when i'm aware :) of it.  and the
imaging is crucial.  the disdain for _all_ religion
(which ends up being even disdain for _who/what_ it
represents...) is risky business.

i can't imagine away that which sometimes won't let me
sleep at night, stirring my gutts up and confronting
all sorts of attitudes.  it's the same that _never_
sleeps and sings over me while i rest and flutter my
eyelids in protected dreams...and even imaginings.  i
won't imagine away convictions (or the convictor) that
actually lead me to be merciful, kind, patient etc.  i
think lennon is onto something, but he misses more of
the point than i want to miss.

-j. marie


=====
All human nature vigorously resists grace because grace changes us and the change is painful. -Flannery O'Connor

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