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eating crow

some of the responses regarding religion and our
feelings etc. have really got me thinking.  first, i
think a lot of people wrote things that were
accessible.  thank you.  you're helping me.  it's
easier to understand points of view when we actually
take the risk of expressing ourselves.

i was particularly thinking about some of the things
j.g. said.  a sort of devil-may-care attitude which is
like when i throw my hands up in the air.  the "hey,
ya know, i get annoyed...so what, i choose to be
here."

i do this b/c i get tired of trying to arrive at what
seems unquantifiable.  i also do this b/c i get tired
of a person or set of people (myself included)
thinking itself the center of the universe.  i get
sarcastic and say, "do you want some cheese and
crackers with that whine?"

i take the personal stance that you and i matter a
lot.  my/your feelings matter.  but it's not really
about me.  i'm not it.  that's gonna offend some
humanists.  even though i can't nail down lots about
"reality," i always come back to realizing i'm not the
center of the universe.

and then i wonder if we stop prematurely at times.  i
wonder if i don't delve deeply enough into what people
are frustrated about.

something that gets me is this pinpointing of
christians...and for the record, the pinpointing of
other groups too.  it ends up being such an
interesting hipocricy at times (not by everyone of
course).  it's like reverse racism.  yuck.

gasoline, theology, etc. has just as little or much to
do with over the rhine specifically as the other
topics discussed on the list in a simple sense.

and what of god and the general complaint about
"pushing stuff."  aren't we the equivalent of otr
street pharmacists/preachers?

i got to thinking about what feels like (and sometimes
is) shoving god down people's throats.  i don't like
that either.  i'm not a big fan of selling jesus
like's he's not what he says he is.  like some 2nd
rate goods.

but we testify which is something else a lot of times.
 and that's (according to what some members of our
list say) frustrating to non-christians.  sometimes
it's been pointed out to me as being on the basis of
not wanting to be sold _anything_.

but we sell stuff all day long.  we sell over the
rhine.  my goodness.  how many times have you and i
told a friend, "oh wow.  what you really need is to
hear __insert otr album title___, it's amazing...it'll
change your life!"  or "hey, check out that poem by
___."  maybe even: "have you tried this or that form
of troubleshooting.  i know it'll help."

how is that different?

will we end up saying it's different 'cause of
metaphysical import?  and that god is a whole other
"topic" that confronts people's lives.  that we don't
like it?

maybe we don't like it b/c someone's trying to "sell
us something."  but we buy and sell stuff all day
long.  am i a hypocrite b/c certain things offend me
in the packaging and others don't?

does it specifically bother me as a christian to see
what i think is crummy evangelism ad nauseum b/c it's
ad nauseum or b/c it's crummy evangelism?

so when i say "so what," i'm not doing it to offend
anyone...and then sometimes i think i am.  as if to
say, "hey you (and hey me), leave that
self-centeredness behind and grow up."

learning that it's not just wrong to fight so hard to
preserve myself but that it's just dumb.  'cause i
can't.

that sounds really harsh.

eating lots of crow,
j. marie

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