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Re: Do I Offend You? (was Re: +Live+ ect.)

DM said
>
> If anything, I wanted to reply/repost this From JG because if anything,
its
> proof as to why, someday, I really want to be like him (maybe inbetween
> growing up to be Bono before I get old and become Leonard Cohen).
>
> The man is so cool.
>

why, thank you,  DM.   wanting to be anything like me is perhaps the most
insane thing you could wish for,  but the compliment seemed genuine.  why is
it i'd like to be anything but me?   oh, i know why.   i know me much better
than you do.


why would anyone wanna buy the  Canadian car option that prevents a suicide
hose hook up,  as Anita reports from her cramped kitchen?     I ain't ready
to go yet,    the bad news hasn't come as i'm certain it will one of these
years,   but i have the garage.  i have the car,   and i'm pretty sure i
have the hose.    that whole combination is at the top of the list.
but....not yet.


so,  new years eve.    happy new year, one and all of you.     new years eve
i was working.   either you worked new years eve or christmas eve,   as
always,   and i had xmas eve off.   the boys working xmas eve  did just over
$100 in sales,  and took back $93  in returns.   the deposit for the day was
$7.    they were so slow,  they adjusted their closing time up from Holiday
4pm  to  2,   and as it got closer to noon and there were no customers,
they just decided  to close at noon.     Naturally,  that was what i was
hoping for in the new years shift,   my shift.   no such luck.  we were
busy.    in the first 20 minutes,  we did 4 times what they did all day.
anyway,   we tried to get out by  2,   but we were out at 10 after  3 PM
instead.   two of us had over a thousand dollars in, each,   and the newer
guy  was 4 or 5 hundred,   and no returns to speak of.    i guess
three-ten's not bad,   but on a normal day i'm outta work by 2:30,   so on a
day i didn't really wanna be working in the first place,  i was stuck even
longer than i normally am.    does my life suck yet?   no.     because we're
invited to our transvestite friends party,  and as far as i know,  we're
going.   i have called my dad,  db has called her dad,  and we have found
them both to be willing sitters for little ian while we go get tanked on
Bobbi's  Toxic Punch.   I think Bobbi is one of the men who actually ~shave~
themselves before getting into her dress,   though most of the others  don't
bother.   we love them, of course,   but you gotta admit they make some of
the ugliest women you'd ever wanna drink Toxic Punch with.   I come home to
find DB  all curled up in bed with the blankets pulled high.   Oh, dear,
this doesn't look good.   she's not up to a party,   can i call us off?
ring ring ring....{ameritech computer voice:}   "this line is being checked
for faults."
rats.   can't call us off.    so i sent an e-mail.   no roadrunner,   so if
their phone line is out,  so is their computer line,  but maybe it'll get
through before nighttime.   maybe they'll know we're not coming before they
find out the hard way.
so,  it's a party at home.   i go out for snakkies,  drunkies,  and movies.
102 dalmations,  Mona Lisa,  Dumbo,  Memento,  Jose'  Cuervo,   Carlo Rossi,
and chips.    the store is almost outta dip,  so i get the only thing they
have left,   (and they  have ~lots~  of it left,  why oh why is that?)
Bodacious Onion Dip.   i hold little hope for the saving grace of this
stuff.   but what the hell?   Oh, yeah,   Freschetta Pizzas were on sale,
so i came home with 4 of them,  too.     might as well eat.

Then i think we promptly set about doing  bloody nothing at all.    wheee!
at least M was outta bed.   at long last and after 2 pizzas were consumed,
we fired up the DVD Dalmation movie.   i'm pretty sure i fell into a
comatose state.  i remember M calling out,    "hands up,  who likes this
movie?"   and the two grownups here thrust their hands down their legs.   i
think ian had his hand up.     he would.    can't fault him for that.
the carousel whirled,  and  Dumbo started,   but we didn't get farther than
the title/selection screen when it became close to Dick dropping the Ball
(dear sweet Liesel is snickering.  don't snicker)  .  i was supposed to
refill our egg nog and our Cuervo,  but there just wasn't time.   8 seconds
to go.

5,4,3,2,1  happy new year.   M and ian ran onto the porch with sparklers,
shouting at the neighbours just in case they happened to be sleeping at
midnight,  like sensible persons.   i began planning to go to bed.    M
called her dad,  and then her sister called us.   later, i called my dad.
happy new year and all that.   pass the phone around to mom and that aunt of
mine.   happy new year.  we love you,  they say.  oh, goodie,  i say.

wash face.  brush teeth.  and i go to bed.     new years  eve,   as always,
sucked.   just as i knew it would.

new years day was good.    i pulled a Gil,   and pulled up a light blankie
on the sofa downstairs,   flipped the carousel over to Mona Lisa (with Bob
Hoskins)   and watched that,   and slaked my thirst with some Yogi Tea:
Licorice and something.   yum .    Ian was on his  101 Dalmations  software
up here in this room,   and  god knows what M was doing.   she had mentioned
her plan to me to stay in our jammies all day,  and eat food items til we
exploded,   which pretty much sounded like an ideal way to spend ~any~ day
to me,   and  "how do we like it so far?"     we were just discussing how
well it was going,  so far,  when the phone rang,   and it was Listie Sue.
She was wishing us a happy new year,    and when i mentioned that it would
be even happier if she would come over  in her jammies and hang with us in
ours,  she surprisingly agreed.
So soon sue came over,  and there was much happiness.   there wasn't anybody
in jammies,  however,  except for me,  who is stupid enough to believe that
strangers will show up to your house wearing jammies.   db had changed into
real clothes.   sue wore real clothes.    screw it,  i didn't change from my
jammies.    we tried to entertain sue for three hours,   i wish it were
more.   that was fun,   and we had an enjoyable time.   sue pretended to
have an enjoyable time too.
one good friend is so much more valuable than a room full of pretty good
friends.   so,  i'd have to say that 2002  is starting off with a bang.
Tomorrow we'll watch Dumbo and Memento,  eat until we explode,   for there
is still food here and it wouldn't have been kind to explode all over sue
and her nice new clothes.   her first visit and she'd have to call the
Coroner's Office.  bad form.



too bad the Corona and the Cuervo is all gone....
work tomorrow....




thank you, sue.
jg
np: concrete blonde  __free__





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