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Re: dizzing nights and eventful days...

That's excactly how I feel...
	They touch us in our deepest places, yet they will never know
their power. Needed medicine at the right time?
	It seems when you try to bridge the gap with an artist, it
doesn't work. The artist seems to hold you at arms length. I can't help
but feel like they are theives. Like women who break hearts after they
have won your trust. Dismantled all your walls.
	I won't even allow myself to try an connect with the artists I
admire, I won't risk the chance that all they really want is for me to
buy their records. The truth is probably what's in my wallet is all that
interests them. Ignorance is bliss now. Though I don't think Linford and
Karin are after the rock star/fan relationship, you can't make time for
everyone.
	So I collect CD's like a squirrel collects nuts and store them in
my tree. I don't try to share them with anyone.
	Sip on cheap beer. Wrap up in a blanket. Let the music and the
candlight and drink work it's magic. Dilute me. Get the best hold I can
on a disengaged state.

WS


>> hey, does anyone else have problems talking to linford and karin?  
>they 
>> intelligence and language skills far outweigh mine, and i'm so 
>afraid to 
>> sound like a bumbling idiot around them!  also, what do i do?  run 
>to them 
>> and gush about how they're angels and their music touches my life in 
>ways 
>> they couldn't imagine?  what could i say that they haven't heard 100 
>times 
>> over?  and so i let them go, and i don't tell karin that she's my 
>idol, and i 
>> don't thank them for helping me find some connection with god, and i 
>don't 
>> talk to them.
>> 
>> it feels strange for me to be so chicken.  i don't think i like it 
>very much.
>> 
>>
>
>
>
>Hoo! Totally. The first time I met Linford in person, it was at one of 
>
>the Christmas Rhinelander gatherings of yore. It was the first time I 
>saw Jack Henderson with the band. I handed Linford a home-made 
>Christmas 
>card. I tried to tell him the story of how I discovered OtR on 
>accident 
>(I was given a gift certificate to Coconuts, which is the worst gift 
>certificate you can give someone; Cocnuts has *no* selection to speak 
>of. I browsed in the store for hours before stumbling on this CD with 
>a 
>hairy old man on the front whose title was 'Patience.' I was curious. 
>I 
>had a gift certificate. I bought it. And thus plunged into the Apple 
>Orchard.)
>Halfway through a version of the above story, I realized Linford was 
>*bored*! He was looking around every which way but at me, and I think 
>he 
>even *sighed.* I realized I was babbling and that he probably got 
>bombarded with stuff  like that which I was telling. So I derailed the 
>
>story, said, "thank you," and let the man have some peace.
>Ever since then, I try to make it my policy to say "thank you" to the 
>celebrity types I meet and leave it at that. I ran into Adam Duritz 
>back 
>when Couting Crows were still making good music and, having learned me 
>
>lesson, asked if I could shake his hand. I said "thank you for your 
>music. It means a lot to me." He smiled and said "You're welcome" and 
>I 
>walked away. Minutes later, I looked back to see Mr. Duritz being 
>mobbed 
>by tens of giggly thirysomething ladies and I was glad I'd stuck to my 
>
>policy.
>
>The thing with writers like Linford is that their work comes into the 
>most personal parts of my life. For e.g.: My wife and I were having 
>one 
>of our biggest fights in our history before our wedding. She was 
>scared-- about to commit to spend her entire life with a writer, and 
>person with a Master's in English (not a promising breadwinner) and 
>not 
>only that, but she had never, ever been with someone of my personality 
>
>type. She was understandably worried. Anyway, we were fighting while 
>Good Dog Bad Dog was playing on a stereo somewhere and "Etcetra 
>Whatever" came on. My wife heard the birdge ("yes we're gonna be 
>alright") and she just lost it. It touched her and it was more 
>reassurance than I could hope to give.
>There are so many moments like that. Linford andf Karin have made a 
>beautiful thing that has permeated my life. I feel like I know them. I 
>
>feel like they *ought* to know me; they have, in a way, been allowed 
>into the private and intimate sectors of my life. I feel connected to 
>the band, but they, naturally, don't know me from Adam.
>I feel like I could run into one of them in a coffee shoop and have a 
>fabulous conversation about anything.
>
>- John
>
>np- Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
>
>-- 
>++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>"The Law goes silent in times of war."
>                         -Cicero
>++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
>http://www.johnpauldavis.org
>
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