[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]
Linford is not a Shark
Who asked about sharks?
One of my Eng 103 students last semester turned in an actually very
interesting paper on myths about shark attacks. So these are some things
I learned about sharks.
-Linford is not a shark.
-Karin is not a shark.
-Jack may or may not be a shark.
-Sharks don't actually like to eat people. We're too scrawny to be a
good food source for them. They prefer, like, roly-poly walruses and
seals. What's more, most of the time when the get their nibblers on a
human, they spit 'im out in disgust-i-pation. That's why we get one-bite
shark attacks.
-The people in most danger of gettin' shark-bit are surfers paddling out
on their boards, b/c silly sharks see the paddle-action and think: "Seal.
Mmmm." Then they spit the guy out after one good bite.
-Three shark attacks rapidly in the same area is really rare.
-And then there's all this stuff about how they're being hunted out
internationally, often having their fins cut off and then left to die
(for shark-fin soup). But they're a really important predator in the
ocean eco-system, so we'd be screwed if we extinctified them.
-So if you're alone with a shark in the water 1) do not try to amuse him
with your funny, funny walrus impression or your funny, funny seal "arp
arp" sound; 2) thank him for his hard work in the ocean eco-system; 3) do
not cut his fins off to make soup.
-Willow would bark at a shark if it got loose in the house.
That is all.
Fred
________________________________________________________________
GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO!
Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less!
Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit:
http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj.
---------------
Unsubscribe by going to http://www.actwin.com/MediaNation/OtR/
Follow-Ups: