Re: not letting them define us (was Re: occupations?)

[rhys daily <shadow at teuton_org>]

dann Temmesfeld wrote:

> true.  in fact, in recent conversations (mainly with bruce lachey),
> this has come up.  so many times when anyone meets for the first time,
> a lot of times the question is asked, "so, what do you do for a
> living?" or "where do you work?"
> 
> while i don't feel that this is necessarily a bad "getting to know
> someone" question, i don't think we should let it give ourselves first
> impressions of people.

wxcept where it applies. i have to admit that i am a programmer, and that
does presuppose certain characteristics about me.  others it doesn't.  so
i would guess that while first impressions are not as important as your
mom would like you to believe, they contain partial truths.

the problem arises when [you] forget that it's only an impression and
don't allow any reconstructuring of the other person.

i'd hate it if people made assumptions about me based on the Hollywood
stereotype of a programmer (rather like the guy in Jurassic Park)m because
it isn't so.  by the same token, i told a friend of mine how i was
decoratin my new place, and he promptly informed me that i was 'such a
programmer' - which was a pleasing thought.

at work there are parts of me that fit in really well, and then i go
careening off into some distant 'foreignness' in relation to the
guys.

> about a month ago someone at work asked me why i got into accounting.  
> i told them that i had started running out of money for music, and i
> figured that this would pay the bills.  she said, "i'd laugh, but i
> don't think you're kidding."
> 
> i was sort of kidding, but really i try not to define myself by what i
> do at work.  work is really just a way to afford rent, food, clothing,
> etc. it's great if i enjoy it.  many times i do not enjoy it, though.  
> if i didn't have to have money to survive, trust me- i would not be
> working.

there is a certain sense in which your job does define part of who you
are, but it should never be made to have a higher level of importance than
community.  as an o-so-wise fred told me 'community is part of your
identity - you've chosen it to represent who you are', i'd say that
matters the most. so maybe a first impression is more truthful or telling
in a social setting.

rambling,

rhys
-- 
Not all who wander are lost. JRR Tolkein 

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References:

• not letting them define us (was Re: occupations?)
• From: Dan Temmesfeld <dantemm at erinet_com>

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