love for a lifetime

["J. Marie Hall" <j_marie_hall at hotmail_com>]

>It threatens to destoy any beauty in their marriage, and yet more
>beauty is created as they still choose to love each other, to be honest
>with their weeknesses and failure, and fight to remain in deep
>relationship.

adrian says in reply:

well, when and if i find such a person that's willing to stand by a
committment, i will revise my point of view, but not until then.  maybe i
will regain my faith in human kind one day, but at this moment, people are
slime sucking scum, some more so than others.

marie in da house with:

do you think your aformentioned proposal/expectation is possible for a 
person to achieve with a doubtful partner who's not willing to take the 
chance and love them without condition, even if they do fail and turn out to 
be slime sucking scum?  what you're asking for is to recieve something that 
you're not willing to give.  i don't think it works that way.  if i'm not 
mistaken, you gain your life by losing it.  that whole puritanical american 
value of turning the other cheak is about (in its origin) getting ready for 
another wack, not diverting eyes and redirecting the nose upwards :)

the best of us are criminals; but love and grace make it all possible.  
neither partner of that older couple is perfect, no matter how much devotion 
flows out of their lives.  many people would attribute this kind of love to 
god, to grace.  i agree.  then there is our part.

i kinda doubt that, after years of getting on each others' nerves and 
wounding each other in areas no other person could access, my parents can 
attribute their 25 years married (after almost 4 of dating) to coincidence 
or mushy feelings.  and my parents are not your christian fundamentalist 
types.  believe me :)  and they have plenty of dirt to sling at each other 
that could make them want to break their promise.  but they don't.  why?

this is where love shows itself to be a decision instead of a feeling.  and 
this i know b/c if it were based on a feeling, i think i'd be kicked out of 
every relationship i have (just ask vicki-- she's my best friend and a 
lurker :)  ).  i don't give my "dearests" warm fuzzies nearly enough to earn 
their love and commitment.

just some more fat to chew-
marie
____________________________________________________________
All human nature vigorously resists grace because grace changes us and the 
change is painful. -Flannery O'Connor


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