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A Book after the Signing

      howdy rhinelanders.
      stumbled across this with my stuff--thought i'd copy a bit,
before jack discovers i've been borrowin' it.
      a fanzine--"art clippings"--newsprint, grainy.  our favourite
band on the cover.  long haired karin, in sleaveless dress.  candles
in a brass candleabra. linford, triangle goatee.  brooding.  everyone
looks brooding.
      the fanzine dates august of '93.

      the article i've folded to--a close up of mr. detwieler.  an
article, penned by him.
       "a book after the signing."
       
        i'll type what i can, but i've got to meet some folks in a
bit.  i'll see if i can hide it under the laundry before jack leaves.

       

8 June 1993
        I have to start writing again.  The day goes by in a heat. 
The summer came today with blurred lines and glistening limbs.  NEil
lookes as if he would cry at his desk and he was no more than 3 yards
from the only air conditioner.
        I may have to speak.  How can I speak if I don't write?
       I wrote a terse quick letter today to my father.  I defended my
self-imposed slavery.  The letter helped me to speak.
       The music buisness is wearing thin.  Like rope burns.  Like
empty on the inside.  Like, I yearn for quiet, trees, mist, dew, a
child.
       I'm afraid of not being able to do anything else.  Of being
chained to the madness.  I need to risk poverty if I ever hope to be
an artist.  A real writer.
     Each night I read a little to help my brain quit racing.  Each
night I must write a little.  I must be quiet and let my hand speak
with a pen.  It will help my mouth move in the end.
     I've been struggling to get ready for festivals.  I sold
strawberries as a child.  Now I sell performances and related
merchandise.  My father instilled in me the desire to do well.  My
father taught me that what we do matters.
     We watched "Hard Days Night" tonight at Ric and Karen Jean's.  I
was sullen.  Karin and her mother Barbara and Stan Ginn and Brian and
Mallory and Jimmy D.  and a wispy red-haired girl and two black
kittens...



     i'm very sorry.  gotta go...
     there is a prophetic review of their albums--with a comparison to
innocence mission, 10, 000 maniacs, and innocence mission.
     i'll try to get more in tomarrow if you're interested.

                             --TW

np:  chagall guavera

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