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golden handcuffs.
hello, friends.
no, this is not OtR related.
this is quite personal really, more than i've been publicly.
this is about my interest in moving back to Cincinnati.
if not Cincinnati, then another place where i will be
rewarded for my abilities, my passions.
i wonder in sending this if any of you
share the same professional field as i do...
the creatively cerebral world of CAD design and engineering.
i suppose it doesn't hurt to search out and learn
if any of you might know of an opportunity... (?)
i only send this message in the wonder of that.
first, it was no mistake that i moved to the Detroit area.
i have not regretted it, will not.
this company relocated me at their expense over two years
ago, and has rewarded me beyond what i thought i'd ever see.
i have learned much about the automotive engineering
industry, and that has also come at great cost to myself.
a cost that i hadn't expected to pay, but i'm glad i've paid it.
i'll use my earned scar tissue for many years to come!
my last manager told me i'd "have no fresh meat on my frame"
by the time he was done with me - and he even liked me.
i have learned how to work unaffected under bloody
circumstances,
how to arch my brow and press my forehead against
the foreheads of those who are arrogantly contrary to myself.
i think i'm done with that.
i think i'm done with meetings that are nothing more than
ego-induced brawls. my opponents are many.
(although not all here are opponents, my 79 year old
officemate and i are comrades. he's a good man, and rare.)
i wish to work quietly and be respected,
not to spend my energies fending off the ruthless.
no... not wish, demand.
i have better understood David's cries of Psalms from this.
i crave mutual respect. calm logic. reasonable colleagues.
~ here's the situation ~
my company was aquired by a large corporation last August,
and the unscrupulous activities have begun...
i'm getting a bit paranoid. we're all shiftless.
corporate has brought in a hammer by the name of Cal.
he's hardcore - shrewd and ruthless. bloody and unpredictable.
our accounting department was told that they have 45 days
to find new jobs, and that corporate expects their full
cooperation to "pass the baton" to corporate's accounting dept.
our two (long-standing) top mangers within this company
have been axed last week also. one of them was told
at 12:30 and was already out the door by 1:30...
he'd been here for over eight years, and gone that fast.
another manager was gunned on the spot this afternoon.
it's grim, hard to dedicate my best efforts, my best works
to something i don't know will exist in a few months...
two of our sister companies are already in the process
of being consolidated, meaning, everybody's throats slit
and corporate gives their work to a stronger company within the fold.
...meanwhile, we're being told beautiful lies of security.
~ a topic i'd love to see discussed ~
what of this ruthlessness?
what of this merciless termination with no good reason or
even warning, but only the desire to streamline, to make lean?
Theodore Roosevelt's sister Corinne said:
"Nothing is as difficult as to achieve results in this world
if one is filled full of great tolerance and the milk of human
kindness. The person who achieves must generally be a
one-ideaed individual, concentrated entirely on that one idea,
and ruthless in his aspect toward other men and other ideas."
i don't believe in that model. i believe there's a better way.
my father and i have debated over the subject of loyalty
to one's employer plenty enough. i see none, i have little.
i'd love to gain some, and it would be hard-earned for my employer.
(it would also be well rewarded by myself were it earned.)
fifty or even twenty years ago, there was a great deal
of loyalty between employer and employee from what i reckon,
but i see that no longer.
disloyalty has fed mistrust has fed...(?)
today it's all cookie cut no individuality polish.
where are we going from here? what's the end goal?
several holding companies of accountants and bankers
that make decisions based solely on charted projections?
do we really want the system of countless individual
entities to be strangle-tied into one or several bundles?
another take ~
what comfort do we have in this nation solely from this
method of doing business? are we to assume that we'd
enjoy the lifestyle we do were it not for the above trends?
i do wonder at how our lives would be were it not for this.
to think we'd be better off may be an exercise of naivete'.
i just know that i don't care to be the one with blood on my hands.
anyway, getting back ~
so... no, i'm not panicky about what could be my imminent
end here - from what our new owners show me, i believe
they may want to shuffle me into another (better) position
within corporate central with my design and CAD skills.
but then again, they may not see me as being worth my
salary either. i never really know what i'm worth. i never do.
and i doubt that an accountant could even recognize my worth.
i don't know that i'd want to work in that environment anyway,
although i know they'd be grooming me to be their golden boy.
if they let me go, at least i know i have the opportunity
for lots of freelance work while looking for a new job.
if this is coming across as panicked,
i have not chosen my words well.
i'm just filled with disdain and unsettled a great deal
at what is happening to the workforce of today.
i'll be fine, i know that my value is tremendous.
furthermore, i know that i am greatly loved.
it's that "birds of the air, lilies of the field" thing...
if there is a way to move out from the automotive industry and the
Detroit area, yet stay at my current income, i will do just that.
the golden handcuffs are binding.
it's hard to say presently how far i'd go to keep them,
so i'm just saying "by the grace of God, i'll be fulfilled."
i have an admirable resume and references
if you are interested or know someone who is.
thank you kindly and sincerely for reading this far.
edward jay.
my mantra this month, from Mr. Cave:
"When I first came to town
All the people gathered round
They bought me drinks
Lord, how quickly they changed their tune"
Nick Cave - When I First Came To Town
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