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Phantom Menace
I went to the midnight screening of Episode I, and I take it upon myself to
ruin this movie for everyone else. I mean , tell the whole story so you
don't have to go see it. Jabba the Hut and the Ewoks unite forces to defeat
Han Solo and Boba Fett, who were buddies back then, except Boba went by the
name of Robert. Mace takes out his light saber that says "bad muther******"
on it and slices and dices bad guys like nobody's bizness. Then Obi-Wan and
Yoda light one up and get all philosophical, and that's how they come up
with this "force" thing, Jedi knights, and all that crap. They're all just
stoners. Obi-Wan? Yoda? Skywalker? Only someone high would think of names
like that. "Dude, wouldn't it be cool if you could control stuff with your
mind? The force is everywhere. It's within all of us." Drugs, I tell you.
Lots and lots of drugs.
Then George Lucas comes out and says thanks for making him a zillionaire,
but shouldn't you all go get a life? The last hour is just him laughing
maniacally and rolling around in a swimming pool full of twenties.
Save your money.
Damian
thegeniusiwas at hotmail_com
"If you love something you should never set it free. It might not come back,
and then you'd feel pretty stupid. Instead, you should give it a back rub."
- Dave Van
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