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Re: Restoration?
Kent M. Nebergall@TIMEWEB
02/04/99 06:17 PM
I remember a similar thing from college. Over the course of several
months, an number of my close friends had talked to me or asked for advice
on relationships (this still baffles me). Anyway, one evening I was
bumming because I'd had yet another attack from my unstable
quasi-girlfriend at the time. She was a gorgeous ex-gang member who after
pursuing me for a couple weeks caught me, and then proceeded to alternate
between explosive verbal attacks and contrite apologies roughly once a
week.
Then my roommate came in with a sad look, telling of his lament from a girl
he'd been pursuing for a month or two and had just been rejected by. We
commiserated for about ten minutes when a knock came at the door, and
someone else who'd asked me advice for three months on a particular girl he
had a crush on came in with a sad-sack face (she and I were from the same
area downstate, he from a Yuppie subdivision/suburb. My sister and her
sister were friends). When the next knock came at the door I greeted
another mourning friend with warm ironic laughter and a simple gesture of
invitation to join the club!
Yes, moments like that are VERY healing. They remind you you are OK,
overall, still worth being cared about. Still good for a laugh. There is
a fear, often subsurface, that we'll never be happy again. It is an
extreme relief to find out we are wrong about that.
I don't remember much more about that night. I think just the fact that we
all gathered in one place with the same problem spoke volumes of comfort,
and we just disbanded after a few minutes or tens of minutes. The smiles
were no longer the ironic smiles of the damned, but real.