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after all
we are only human. do you ever watch someone for a while, and realise just
how frail we are? bunches of nerves strung tightly under our skin,
connecting muscles to bones. somehow it allows us to laugh smile and
dance.
i walked into his room yesterday and he just smiled. gramma says he hasn't
smiled like that for anyone else. how'd i get to be so special? he waves
his fingers at me, but i could tell how much it wears him out.
mostly he just dreams with his eyes open.
i have an aunt - she says he will die today. i have another aunt - she
says he will pull through. i have a gramm who watches him. she is no
longer busy trying to do - just holding his hand. watching him, bullying
the nurses into helping him. my uncle - he says my dad should come. my
dad, he tried to leave brazil.
i stand there and look, and gramma says i look like my dad, and that is
what makes grandad happy. so i tell him about my work. i tell him about a
dream i had. i tell him about the snow i wish would fall, and about my
skiing and the cliffs at acadia. i tell him about silly things, i don't
htink he can hear me. he smiles and nods every now and then from his
remote place. i stop talking - he keeps nodding. he can't hear me.
they don't allow a cd player in his room, i can't play dnoty for him. i
think the darkest night has yet to come.
and so i go to work. how normal, how sane.
rhys
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