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My Story (Part 1)

Hey everybody! Sorry about the "raghead" comment. 
	Want to know why I'm so twisted?
	I fell in love at 19, we remained virgins until we married when I
was 23... divorced at 24. Be 25 middle of November.
	We had a tough first year. I worked 80 hours a a week to chase a
dream of mine. I know she missed me, but that's not why she left.
	I'm the kind of guy who brings work home with me, I can't relax,
I can't shift gears.
	When I was home, we needed to be loving, but I was stressed out,
and fighting vulnerability.
	See there was some things she had done that hurt me deeply, and I
couldn't just roll over. I was walking wounded, and i needed her
desparately to clean up her mess, but instead she ignored me. She knew my
pain and refused to administer the cure.
	My sickness worsened and stress became unbearable. I was
consistentely 5 to 7 minutes late to my first job every day. My boss
confronted me about it. Though we stood around for at least 30 min. to an
hour every morning and shot the breeze, tried to wake up, eat donuts and
coffee sometimes. I couldn't tell him that 5 min. didn't really take much
breeze shooting time. I didn't have to state the obvious? What a great
boss he was, just too neurotic in the morning, well that perticular
morning I had no threshold for my boss putting any amount of squeeze on
me.
	He was shooting bullets at my feet, but I could not force myself
to dance.
	"What is going on with you?" He said. "What's it gonna take for
you to get here on time?" ...(long pause.)... he was heavy on the
warpath.
	"I don't know, but maybe it's time I put in my two weeks." I
tested my worth.
	"That's fine." was the reply.
	I stayed out my two weeks. It had the potential of a great jod.
Driving delivery trucks all day, during down time we would shoot darts.
(I remember around Christmas time, Dave the salesguy brought in his
dartboard, and we shot dart for four hours straight!, ate lunch, did some
busy work, then shot dart for another two hours, then drank some pre
Christmas break beer and talked about what the guys were getting their
kids for Christmas, and past tales.
	I was thinking about getting married. Two weeks away. One last
abstinent Christmas. We'd just have to cuddle.
	Made it through Christmas. Tried to make it as romantic as I
could, buying gifts for her I knew she would appriciate as a wife. She
was an admirer of Martha Stewart, a little too much. I wanted her to be
more concerned with loving me right, than worrying about the curtains she
was going to sew. I decided to excersise patience.
	We made it through Christmas and set a date on new years for Feb.
14th.
	You would think it was impossible to plan a wedding in two weeks,
we did it and it was grand.
	Since she worked at a bridal shop, she got a dress for  a huge
discount. I rented a tux for cheep too. We saved monet by not having
anyone stand with us. We also didn't have a cake. And we never thought
about a photographer, (I wish we had one, but my buddy filmed it, at
least I have that.)
	We hired and old pastor who lived behind a small church in
Marion, Iowa for $50.00. It was built in the 50's sometime. It could hold
maybe 80 people at the most. Small, quaint, minimalistic.
	Beside the fold-up chairs, my parents put white cloth over wodden
blocks and set votives on top all down the isles.. We put candles in all
the window sills and at the alter, the whole wedding was held by candle
light. We had eclaires, nuts, and mints, coffee, tea, and some ultra
delicious punch. It was all very frugal, but you couldn't tell.
Everything was classy.
	The wedding was at 10:30 PM and our closest family and friends
started arriving at 10:00PM.
	I was starting the first day of my life. I couldn't wait to begin
this adventure. The whole wedding seemed rushed, though we had a 4 year
courtship, everything went too fast, like during communion we played
"Bothered". I wanted to the crowd to hear the whole song, but we couldn't
make communion last all the way throught it.
	
	My bride kept clicking her right heel like a horse stamping the
ground, it was subtle, but you could here the hollow sound it made on the
floor, I squeezed her hand to get her to stop, but she didn't. I asked
her about it afterwards and she doesn't even know she did it.
	We had a rough first night together. We had managed a wedding for
$500, and we didn't want to blow a bunch of money, but we wanted a nice
honeymoon just the same.
	We didn't have any plans. We were so busy wedding planning, we
hadn't thought of where we would go.
	We decided on Galena, Illinois. I had skiid there when i was in
school and it was a nice village, bed and breakfast, L.L. Bean type town.
	When we drove in at around midnight we tried to get a real Bed
and Breakfast. We tried to differentiate between the reall B & B, and the
more touristy joints posing as Bed & Breakfast's.
	Everyone that was open was full, we even drove to a gas station
to call around, the cheepest one was $180 a night and it was a whirlpool
room with a fireplace. We couldn't swing it.
	My blushing bride said she wanted a room with a Whirlpool, she
all but stood on her tiptoes and clapped her hands! After finding all the
available rooms with whirlpools were expensive she said "we didn't have
to have one, it' ok."
	What a super girl! I ended up getting $180 for a supper club
suite...with a whirlpool.
	The night after we got some wine from a local wine cellar, and
tried to act posh. We ate dinner at the supper club, very ritzy. We had a
table right at the edge of 200 ft. cliff with a huge view overlooking the
Missisippi River at sunset. She wore red and captured my attention, and
everyone elses. There was a bunch of rabits right outside on the
remaining ledge of the cliff, jumping around, doing what rabbits do in a
little scale village. It was never more romantic for the two of us.
	She told the waiter it was our honeymoon which must have been a
pretty common occurance there, because he didn't act surprised at the
news, and presented us with menus.
	I had shrimp, she had pasta...

	We came home the next day after seeing General Grants post cival
war home that the city of Galena bought him. What a man. The picture of
determination. A man of sorrows.
	

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