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If any of you did not read Don's post, please go back and do so before reading on.  I agree with everything.  I should just stop there because I am sure he said everything better than I will, but I will try.  Linford, if you're reading this, I will provide a suggestion.  In your free time (yeah, right) come up with a few questions or topic starters for us.  Then post them on occassion.  Maybe there are things you want to know from your fans.  Maybe there are things you think it would be interesting if we discussed.  Maybe that would help get us back on track sometimes, you know?  Just a thought.  

Don, the creepy thing is that I was thinking the exact same thing when I read Linford's post.  Don't take down the list.  I have fought with many people over the years.  I have disagreed with many people.  I have been the object of horrible comments and "hate mail."  But I haven't left yet.  And there's a reason.  And that's what I wanted to post here.  Not a defense of the list.  Not a defense of me.  Not an opinion on whether we should be moderated.  Just a story.  
When I joined the list I was a sophomore in college.  I was just entering a phase of my life where I was struggling.  I was taking classes that actually challenged me.  I was learning a lot and really growing as a person.  I was also facing questions I had never faced before.  Many of you know this, but my father was a minister, and I grew up in the church.  I was very involved and passionate about Christianity (which, ironically, is how I found OTR--at Cornerstone).  But that faith was challenged for the first time in 1996.  I was relatively quiet at first on this list, but I became friends with a few people who really challenged me.  I was asked for the first time *why* I believed what I said I believed.  I couldn't give a good answer.  I tried, believe me.  I said all kinds of things about how Jesus was in my heart and all that jazz.  But I couldn't really answer.  So it was through this list that my questioning and searching and challenging began.  It's weird to think about now, and I don't know if any of the people who have been around a long time even remember me during those days.  As Don said, this list provided me the opportunity to talk with so many different kinds of people, people that I wouldn't have come in contact with otherwise.  At the beginning, it was the non-Christian crowd (which used to have a much stronger presence on the list) that was different from me, that challenged me.  Then it was the radicals on either side as I struggled to fit into the middle somewhere.  And now it's the Christians on this list that I argue with...that challenge me...that remind me of my former self...  I have been through a lot in the last 5 years.  Some of that "lot" involved some painful experiences with so-called Christians that kind of left a bad taste in my mouth for all of them.  But enlightening conversations on this list made me remember otherwise.  So even with the recent events and my recent arguments with some of you, I treasure each and every post (well, maybe not all of them!!).  You all make me th
ink and force me to do the exact things I was challenging WS to do yesterday--interact with people often very unlike me.  

So that's my story.  It's not great, it's not eloquent, but it's mine.  And I would hate to see the OTR list disbanded.  I stay because I can't tear myself away!  I stay for the same reasons that old schoolers like Bruce, Don, Stefanie, and others have come back.  This is a list unlike any other I have been on.  The good times FAR FAR exceed the bad.  Remember the ride board I organized that Ysoie mentioned the other day?  Remember the favorite song polls and discussions?  The listee gatherings?  The tribute CD?  Jay and Lynz's wedding?  Shelly Ross?  Snoop Duggy Dug?  LOL!  See what I mean?!?!?!?

Okay, I will finish up now.  Thanks for those of you who challenge me every day to reexamine myself and practice what I preach about tolerance!  Thanks to those of you who I have actually met and talked to.  Thanks to those of you who've intorduced me to new music, movies, authors, etc.  Thanks to those of you who have supported me here when I needed it.  Thanks to those of you who haven't--you make me stronger!  Thanks to Linford and Karin for starting this group in the first place.  Thanks to each of you for coming.

Good night,
Jan
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