[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

Would it make a difference...

I started writing this last night, and I'm finishing it now, so there may
be an odd shift in the present tense in the following text.  :-)

Was walking home through rather miserable weather from working a Catie Curtis
show and ducked through my lab building to get out of the drizzle.  So I
thought I'd check my email and see whether there had been any further fall out
on the list.  I'd just like to say that I feel very humbled and challenged by
both what Linford has been saying (*I'm* glad you didn't delete that stuff,
Linford!), and what others have been throwing around.  (What's *my* name doing
on a list with Satre and Orson Scott Card?  Good grief!), and by the amazing
contributions of folks this morning.  I've been doing a lot of thinking in the
last 24 hours about the list, its connection with the band, and why I'm on it,
and I've come up with the following:

When Jeremy set this up, he and Shelly and I were the official representatives
of the band here.  Linford, Karin and Brian didn't have email.  Ric did, but he
wasn't interested in taking on the role of liason.  Shelly was the leader, more
than me and Jeremy, and he left relatively soon, as I recall, but that's what
we were doing.  We disseminated what information we had, tried to squelch
unfounded rumors, and laughed a lot.  Occasionally she would print out reams of
paper with the messages people had written and pass them on to the band.  Then
we had the "Christian band" wars, and maybe my memory is playing tricks on me,
but I recall the conflicts then as being much much worse than whatever is going
on now.  Then it got so bad that I quit because I didn't need the grief.
Shelly also quit, and until yesterday, there hasn't been any kind of direct
official involvement by the band with regards to the content on the list (I
could be wrong about that, as I wasn't here, but I think that's true).  Perhaps
the list has been the better for it, I don't know.  At any rate, when I
rejoined, it was very definitely just as me, private individual.  I have
absolutely no desire to represent the band here or moderate this thing.

So why did I rejoin after quitting?  Only one reason.  I went to the Christmas
show last year and met some really neat people.  Bruce, J. Marie, Dan, all you
guys.  The human friendliness made me interested in coming back.  And I'm glad
I did.

And I'd like to try to put a positive spin on the arguments, if I may.  This
list is one of the few places in my life that I am confronted with worldviews
radically different than my own.  I can't think of a single person I spend time
with in the real world who would use the term "raghead".  Not that I'm glad WS
used it, but it's an extreme example of something I value about the list, which
is a chance to both challenge my own beliefs and be challenged by others.  I
firmly believe that an unchallenged belief is an ill-defined belief, and I
welcome the chance for someone who disagrees with me to hammer at my assumtions
and ideas.  If all I did was hang around with people who agree with me, it
might be more pleasant, but I would never know if we were missing something.
There's no other way I know to weed out the ideas that don't work than to test
and challenge them.  Perhaps that's because I'm a scientist.  Or perhaps that's
why I became a scientist.  For all our recent arguing, I, at least, have no
hard feelings, and I have a lot of respect for people like Kelvin and Liesel,
with whom I clearly have very strong and very deep disagreements on some
things.  I sincerely hope the lack of hard feelings is reciprocated, and if
not, I hope those who are mad at me would feel comfortable telling me so that I
can try to make amends or explain myself if there's a misunderstanding.

I've been thinking, though, about Linford's challenging question about the list
reflecting "the spirit of OtR".  I've been thinking about what that might mean,
and what such a list might look like, and I remembered something I used to
know, but had let slip from my conscious mind, and that is this: we are
storytelling creatures.  When we ask "what is the spirit of OtR", or "what OtR
songs inspired me", we are embedding our answers in story.  The songs either
tell stories or become part of stories in the context in which we listen to
them.  We get to know each other through story.  I believe that if you really
want to understand someone, the path is not through argument, but through
storytelling.  I may disagree with the lessons you draw from your experience,
but your experience, your story, is your own and unchallangable (even if
there's a lie or a mistaken memory involved, that itself becomes part of the
story and thus true, in so far as it happened as part of the telling.).  So
instead of arguing about the conclusions, perhaps it would be more productive
to tell the stories.

When I remembered that, and thought about the high points on the list, I'm
pretty sure most of them were when people told stories about their lives.  What
inspires them, what baffles them, what delights them, and what devastates them.
Perhaps a list where we share stories rather than argue would be more in the
spirit of OtR?  Well, that's what I'm going to try, at any rate.  It's not
going to be easy, because I love the intellectual fencing of a good argument
(no Monty Python references, please :-)), but I am going to try for at least a
while to think with my heart rather than my head, and tell stories about where
I'm coming from, rather than try to marshall facts and unassailable chains of
logic.  I invite you to join me, because I would love to hear your stories,
too.

Fiat pax,

Don
---------------
Unsubscribe by going to http://www.actwin.com/OtR/