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a fly on my pastor's ass
question: am i the *only* knob on this list, or are there others hiding?
*laughs*
anyway, i've been reading this discussion, and it truly amazes me how
intelligent all you folk are...how do you get that way? i want to be like
all of you.
i've left the christian ghetto and made something of myself in the
world...it feels lovely. yet i can't help looking back and worrying about my
friends still trapped in there. personally, i still believe in god, in the
loosest interpretation of what the word is...but i'm still unsure as to
*what*, forget *who*...god is. my reasons for believing in a supreme being
most likely stem from my insistence that "there has to be something else out
there".
however, i find it ridiculous to label inanimate objects with a word
reserved for followers and believers in the divinity of a man who walked the
earth giving lectures 2,000 years ago. i find it ridiculous that people seek
out things that are painted up and marketed to them, with promises of a
"better spiritual life", or "less blocks to stumble over".
if christianity began with christ, then why do people insist on calling
these modern fire-and-brimstone authors the gospel, in their own ranting,
raving "this-book-changed-my-life" kind of way? i've *read* some of those
books, and while i enjoyed a couple, and c.s. lewis is still one of my
favourite authors, none of them gave me the desire to "sell out for jesus",
or any catchphrase you want to insert here. none of them made me want to
throw out my tori amos cd's and tear down my rocky horror picture show
poster. no music made me swap all my tight shirts for t-shirts that say "got
jesus?".
no cliquey youth group or college ministry has ever had the answers to my
questions, and they consistently LOOK OVER THE THINGS YOU ALL ARE TALKING
ABOUT! constantly batting away discrepancies in writings and truths and
things people cannot bring themselves to believe like a cow swishing flies
off its ass. is that how my pastors and bible study leaders see me? as a fly
on their ass? what kind of christian love and understanding and
openmindedness is THAT?
anyway...sorry to take up space with my severely uneducated words. we now
return to our scheduled program, already in progress...
jillian.
there's only cliches to get across this feeling. - frente
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