Re: darkest night of the year

[rhys daily <shadow at teuton_org>]

On Wed, 26 Jul 2000, Kelvin T Bailey wrote:

> Here's a wierd thought:  Sometimes what I fear more than the being
> left is simply not knowing how to react.  Obviously, if it's family or
> a close friend, the fear of losing and being left is predominant.  

but even people with whom you don't live day-to-day, who wouldn't cause
what seemed like a huge crisis - even those deaths affect you. it'd be
like reaching out and re-remembering that they're gone. it'd be like
having amnesia about a missing arm... it *feels* like it's there, but when
you go to reach for something, nothing happens. and memory takes over.

> But if it's someone I know and love, but whom living without would not
> amount to a personal crises, the main fear is just a fear of not being
> appropriate: not knowing what to do, what to say, how to "do" the
> process.  Is that wierd?  Am I callous?  I'd prefer wierd, thank you.

not wierd. not callous. just... normal. (dare i say that,,?) i used to
wonder if i could be appropriate... i think it's an invalid worry in that
you or anyone else mourns differently.

rhys

-- 
Not all who wander are lost. JRR Tolkein 

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References:

• Re: darkest night of the year
• From: Kelvin T Bailey <kelvinbailey at juno_com>

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