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Re: prehensile tails rule, ships, humanity, animals and other such nonsense
>someone please write something funny -- I'm having a very stressful day
>
>--dana--
there you go, humor fresh out of a can, read all you want, i've got a lot
more where that came from.
Things you wish you could say at work (part one):
1. Ah, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard
to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?--my favorite
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate
yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn
to worship me.
6. I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word
you're saying.
10. I can see your point, but I STILL think you're full of
crap.
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and
stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a
darn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had
about you.
16. It'll be ready Thursday - now, which Thursday is
another question.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean
you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely
coincidental.
19. What am I? Fly paper for freaks?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to
burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely
ceremonial.
23. No, my powers can only be used for good.
24. You sound reasonable. Time to up the medication.
25. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be?
>
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