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RE: just wondering...
I can remember having that look in my eyes about 4 years ago when I saw the
Boston Pops at the Wharton Center at MSU. I noticed that the audience around
me was enjoying the wonderful music the orchestra was making. I tried very
hard to sit there and enjoy the music, but my soul had been stirred and all
I wanted was to be down there making music *with* them. I had always enjoyed
playing clarinet in high school, but it was at this concert (my first
concert as a member of the audience) when I realized how much it had become
a part of me. All the emotions I felt from performing in high school flooded
back tenfold. The nervousness when lining up to enter the stage. The
excitement from walking onto the stage and seeing all those people in the
audience. The anticipation as the conductor raises his arms to begin the
piece. And I can't even describe the way it feels to play, to be a part of a
team. In an orchestra the music isn't about you, its about everyone coming
together to create a magnificent piece of art. Its like that saying, "the
whole is greater than the sum of its parts." (Did I get that right? I'm
terrible at remembering sayings.) That's what I miss, being a part of
something great.
Ever since that day, the dream of playing again in an orchestra has been
nagging me. I did manage to get my clarinet back from my parents' house...
it had been gathering dust... but I've only played it once. I'm afraid to
pick it up again. I'm afraid that I've lost my touch. I'm afraid of having
to learn it all over again. I'm afraid I won't ever be good enough to play
in a real orchestra. I've been in the sand for so long I'm afraid to get
back in the water. I'm afraid if I don't overcome these fears and do
something about it soon then the nagging dream will fade away.
Great question, Amy Joy. It really got me thinking. How tragic that I almost
lost sight of my dream! I think I have a date with my clarinet tonight...
~Bug
np: Skillet - Will You Be There
-----Original Message-----
From: Amy Joy Eversole [mailto:amy_smiley at hotmail_com]
Sent: Tuesday, February 05, 2002 8:02 AM
To: Over-the-Rhine at actwin_com
Subject: just wondering...
today my old roommate is moving to prague for at least a year. a few weeks
ago, a mutual acquaintance ran into her and told me later that "she had this
look in her eyes--like she had seen something and had to go back and get
it." it's true--she went to prague for a couple of weeks last fall, and has
to go back now. she's going for God, for love, and for that wanderlust that
is such an essential part of what motivates her. so, my question for all of
you is this: has there ever been anything in your eyes? the kind of
passion that won't let go until you've followed it and done something about
it? if so, what was/is it? no short list answers allowed...
peace,
amyjoy
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