From the users of www.scubadiving.com
#10: You rely on the silt trail you always stir up to find the anchor line.
#9: You never use fins because it makes it more difficult to walk on the bottom.
#8: The only place you can hover is at the surface.
#7: Your nickname is “Yo-Yo”.
#6: Six Flags models its next roller coaster on your dive profile.
#5: On ascents, your entire body clears the surface of the water.
#4: You use 500 psi for breathing and 2,500 psi for your BC.
#3: You made one dive, but your dive computer has logged it as three.
#2: Small boats of tourists appear in the area to watch you “breach”.
#1: You think that being neutral in the water means that you don’t fight with your dive buddy.