-- The Biography --
August 23, 2001
Bruce's (exactly) 25 Outrageously True,
Fast, and Fun Facts:
- Conceived in the Spring of Love, 1969
- Played a xylophone onstage in a high school play
- Doesn't like screaming babies or raw tomatoes
- Can barely stand to hear himself eat cereal
- Lost US$100 in a shell-game scam on the streets of Barcelona. I'm contending
I thought the pesos were 'play money'
- Thinks dope-smoking Libertarians are 'kooks'
- Taught swimming lessons to hapless children for 6 years
- Once sifted tars
- Once sifted through three huge Shoney's post-breakfast buffet filled trash
barrels searching for a lost retainer
- Thinks fish with big teeth are 'creepy'
- Would consider a brief no-charge advertising stint for Coca Cola if he
became famous, 'cos the beverage is so damn good
- Can't speak Spanish but it doesn't stop him from trying
- Favorite song: "Secret Oktober" by Duran Duran
- Thinks Sony could market a hunk of cheese as long as it had their logo
on it and he'd want to buy it
- Can only name 6 flowers by sight
- Has no real need for more than 3 hrs of TV per month
- Will sing underneath any domed or parabolic overhead around
- Favorite Beatle: Paul
- Is frightened by midgets
- Has not had an indoor refrigerator for over a year (Bruce's
mother would argue this point)
- Always wants to spell refrigerator as 'refridgerator'
- Degreed in Engineering, Schooled in Love
- Biggest Mistake in Life: Ordering the fish last night
- Allergies: none known
- Could never do a proper handstand
- When he grows up he wants to "help people". Just kidding. Screw the people.