Relentless Self-Promotion — Done RIGHT!
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Samuel Pierpont Langley
Langley was an assistant observer at Harvard College Observatory from 1865-66 (under the directorship of Joseph Winlock). Together with Austin, Peirce, Searle and Winlock he observed nebulae with the 15" f/18 Merz-refractor installed in June 1847 (see picture). The results are published in Ann. Harv. Obs. 13, 62 (1882). Langley discovered 1 object: NGC 3355 (HN 215) on April 12, 1866, a galaxy in Hydra.
On Saturday, December 14, 2002, there was a tearful reunion as Mr. Langley was finally reunited with lil'baby Jesus.
Jesus was returned to Mr. Langley in the middle of a piece of a King Cake. The little prince is home, and is reportedly doing well.
The kidnappers, who were never positively identified, have not been caught.
We are very happy that there was a peaceful resolution to this horrid kidnapping.
Mr. Langley…Your child is missing. Your child is with us. Your child is safe… For now. Click Read more…, below, for more information.
You cannot imagine how bad these last 24 or so hours have been. Roger got mad when we told him we didn't like "REIGN OF TERROR", and he quit the program.
AND he took the Mac. Our latest set of demands, supposed to be at NOON today, got delayed until now. We're sitting here in an Internet Cafe' writing this threatening letter, but we're pretty much out of luck because Roger ALSO took all the great pictures of lil'baby Jesus being terrorized.
This has not gone the way we'd planned. Not at all.
No! I do not want a refill on my coffee! It's decaf, anyway. Regular coffee makes me jumpy. Get away from me.
Mr. Langley…Your child is missing. Your child is with us. Your child is safe… For now.
We think we’ve got the technical details mostly worked out (a friend lent us his PC), and are ready to once again launch our "REIGN OF TERROR" once Roger gets the list of demands OFF the Mac and onto the PC. Roger thought of the name, "REIGN OF TERROR", and he’s really quite proud of himself. Everyone else on the team thinks that name is a little tired, but no one has the heart to tell Roger.
Anyhow, here’s a picture of your little child, again with the danger and the peril and the screaming…
Yup. That’s the lil’shaver INCHES away from being squarshed by a menacing car tire. If you don’t act fast and respond to our demands, it’s SPLAT CITY for JESUS! Don’t think we’re kidding. We’re not.
So, without further ado… At last, and finally, here’s our list of demands! MWU-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-ha…
Mr. Langley…Your child is missing. Your child is with us. Your child is safe… For now.
Mr. Langley…We’ve come to understand that it’s possible that you haven’t yet seen our demands. Due to an unfortunate series of technological gaffs, we realize that our demands may not yet have been sent from our computer to yours. We don’t have a printed copy, because we forgot to buy paper for the printer.
Yeah, that’s the kid under some Saran Wrap. So quake with fear, you tiny fools!
This is all really unfortunate, but you must understand — it’s our first kidnapping ever. Well, Roger was peripherally part of one when he was in middle school, but that wasn’t really the top-notch kidnapping we’re trying to accomplish here, even though it seems we’ve messed it up.
We feel really badly and embarrassed about the confusion, but we’re using Macs. I’m sure you understand.
Mr. Langley…Your child is missing. Your child is with us. Your child is safe… For now.
Your defiant attitude has forced our hand, Mr. Langley. You’ve given us no choice but to escalate this issue since you apparently do not believe that we’re serious about the harm that your child faces.
What kind of cold-hearted person are you? Don’t you care about our demands? Or aren’t you getting them?