[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]
overlooking.
she was crazy, if I recall correctly.
or at least she thought she was. she waltzed around
my campus in bright polyesters and komonos and flowers
in her hair. she'd sing loudly when she travelled
down the hallways and into the empty classrooms. I
could hear it bounce off the walls and travel up the
corridors.
she painted her eyes with thick lines and insisted
that nobody gave a damn and I know she never slept at
night until the wee hours of the morning because she
thought for sure that she had no rights to talk to God
when she was troubled.
she was so sure she did not have that right.
I can never figure out her reasoning.
she'd talk about going away, going nowhere, she'd talk
about not being sure. she'd talk and talk and talk
about her woebegone state and she'd be sure you needed
to listen.
she tried to trap herself into going crazy. she
encouraged the doubting voices. I can never forget
when she flatly told her sister she wanted to die
before the morning if she could find a way to end it
that was sure. and if she didn't wonder so much about
eternity.
last night when we were talking, aaron didn't realise
he'd known me for three years until I'd reminded him
of that girl, that person I was with the glowing white
hair who called herself befuddled.
and we kept on talking about the "where we are" stuff,
my college friends and I.
it made me wonder if maybe we're not that far.
that there's a lot of meaning
to the words 'grace' & 'submission.'
it's funny, when I remember,
I think that she was somebody else.
it is well now. . .
goodnight.
lindsey
=====
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Bid and sell for free at http://auctions.yahoo.com