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(HUMOR) From Drew Ford

(ed note: Just got this from another mailing list I am on for another
band. Sound familiar?)

Thursday, September 2, 1999

Hello again,

I know it's been a while since we've spoken, and in some way it is my
fault. But it is mostly YOUR fault. I've been carrying the Secret
Grape Wagon from city to city, waiting for you. I'm writing today
because I just realized that I need some money. Send me some money.

How have you been?  Even though we may have met once or twice in
person, I don't really remember you. Nor would I acknowledge you if we
ran into one another on some dusty downtown street. I'd probably cross
to the other side of the street. Send me some money.

This is Drew Ford writing from Cincinnati, Ohio, on a day that is so
nice that it makes any other days that have been nice look not-so-nice
in comparison which isn't really fair because each day is its own
creation and shouldn't be compaired to any other no matter what but I
did it anyway. I am fond of this city. Send me some money.

The other night, I was performing with Hillbilly Junkfood the other
night (buy their stuff!). We were in Detroit. Detroit is an unusually
stunning town in its own right -- the crack whores on the gritty
sidewalks, the drug-dealers under the bell towers. Send me some money.

I've been recording some stuff lately, too... Mostly it's just sounds
of Drew Ford -- me sleeping, me brushing my teeth, me taking a shower,
talking to the mailman. It's so self-indulgent that it'll make your
heart stop beating and blood come out your eyes. Send me some money.

A few weeks ago, when I was in Nashville recording, I spent part of a
lazy, golden Sunday afternoon with the Koshockton Tribune and a cup of
Mocha Java in a coffehouse called Coffeehouse in the neighborhood of
Black Lung. I read in the Tribune that Tommy Tune would be playing at
the Civic Theatre the very next night. So I scraped up what little
money I have (send), found a payphone (me), and dialed with a fury not
often seen in these old fingers (some) until I was able to get through
and get tickets to see Tommy Tune (money)! Send me some money.

It is exactly this sort of depraved lunacy that made me want to stand
on two glossy metal folding chairs in the middle of a bus station and
play gypsy xylaphone for whomever cared enough to drop some shiny
coins into my empty French Vanilla coffee can. That French Vanilla is
so good on a lazy, golden day. Maybe a Sunday. Probably Sunday.
Certainly NOT on a Wednesday. Sunday it is then. Send me some money.

It's September, folks, and we're nearing one of my hands-out (err...
hands DOWN) favorite times of the year here in Ohio. We're counting
the days on our outstretched fingers until Coney Island, then we'll be
busy counting our money. And what can you expect? Send me some money.

I hear onstage stilted tomfoolery, reminding you that even though you
paid money to see me play, I am only up there for my own enjoyment.
You'll wonder at the color of my eyes, because I never look at you.
Only at the keyboard and my lovely, lovely hands stroking the keys
like they were the spine of some long-forgotten lover. Rose?

If enough people send me some money, I may not speak at all during the
show. If I don't get enough money, I'm planning on sharing, in great
detail, my thoughts about such topics as: me, my take on me, my take
on other's take on me, and more about me. I may not shut up at all, if
you don't send me some money.

There may be some others playing with me. Or maybe not. Or I may tell
you that specific people will be there, but then they won't be. That's
it. You're out of the band. Wait. You've got money? No. You're back
in. Come give me a hug. Give me some of that money.

Down by the river we'll dream awhile. Bring your wallet.

===========================================================================
Andrew Vogel: Manager of Professional Programs at the Univ. of Cincinnati 
College of Pharmacy. Actor, director, dog (JRT) fanatic, author, Miata
owner, & much, much more!   My homepage: "http://homepages.uc.edu/~vogelap"
Offical BC3K Tester. Linux!                  "The only way OUT is THROUGH."
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dug: you da man! you da man!		        "Drew Vogel is its own reward."
ric: isn't "the man" the guy who's always bringing everyone down?
dug: nope! 'cause YOU da man!!                  Email: vogelap at email_uc.edu
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