I will not be there, but why don't y'all have the 1st Annual Over the Rhine
Taft Tailgate Party?
Tailgating is fun.
Somehow I suddenly imagine small clumps of people huddled around hibachi
grills for warmth in the corner of a parking garage, with the attendant
wanting an extra fee (or at least a sandwich) and a policeman yelling about
the public consumption of alcohol and fire codes from inside his cruiser
(he's coming to the show but will only get to park for free if the attendant
thinks he's on duty--he's staying in the car cause he's wearing khakis and a
pair of Vans). But the attendant's sticking around because the meat froze on
the trip in and the hibachis barely have enough heat to thaw it, let alone
get any cooking done. So a few heads-up folks use one of the platter-high
guard rails as a heat shield and pouring on starter fluid, even though the
fire's already going, which only results in some scorched mittens. The only
person who's eating is the guy who brought his own potato salad (sorry, not
enough to share); sadly it's so cold out that when he tries to lick off the
fork, his tongue freezes to it. So now they're trying to bend his head over
the hibachi, the policeman's in fits, but rolls up the window when someone
comes over to talk to him, and the attendant's saying "You know, tongue
really isn't that bad if you rub it down with seasoning salt," ignoring the
twelve cars that have pulled in without paying. It's more people come to the
party, but all they've brought is a catering tray of baked beans, into which
our man of the frozen fork promptly dunks his head, and the grill owners are
arguing with the lady who'd volunteered to bring an electric grill that
could hook up to her car battery but was asked to hide when the cop pulled
in because she was stealing batteries from other cars.
And so forth. But then sometimes I get carried away.
Nathan
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