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gender stuff (was Re: my boy problems)

Hi,

Well, I've tried to write this email several times now, and have deleted it
each time.  What it comes down to that I really want to say is this: the kind
of masculinity that Bethany describes is anathema to me, as a Christian, as a
man, and certainly as a feminist.  It seems to me that the best justification
for this sort of "man should be the head of the household" rhetoric was put
forward by C.S.Lewis, and it's one of the stupidest things that brilliant man
ever said.  Basically, he said that someone has to be in charge, and that
traditionally in Christianity it has been the man.  In addition to the
hierarchical model, he also used a democratic model, saying that if you have
two people voting, in the case of a tie, someone needs to be the tie-breaker.
However, I would argue that (a) some traditions desparately need overthrowing,
and this is one of them, but more importantly (b) the premise is flawed.  I am
a Quaker, and Quakers reject both those models for decision-making.  We make
all decisions in unity, so you *don't* have to have someone in charge (well,
God's in charge, but no single person has the authority to dictate God's
intentions), and you don't have ties that need breaking.  You work around them
until you find something you can be in Unity about.  I find that a much more
attractive model for a marriage partnership than models of dominance and
authority.  I don't want an assistant to sacrifice herself for me, I don't want
a goddess I can worship; I want an equal I can dance alongside of and with whom
I can share life's joys and sorrows.  I prefer the creation story in Genesis 1,
in which male and female were created equals at the same time, to the story in
Genesis 2, in which Eve is created subservient to Adam because none of the
beasts were suitable.

But then, on the other hand, I'm still single, so what do I know?  If Bethany
and the Promise Keepers are right, though, I'd rather be alone.  Like
Puddleglum, I'd rather hold to my ideal than accept an unpalatable claim about
reality.  But I'm not ready to despair yet.

I have about twenty more pages that I could write (especially if I started
talking about why I disagree with Bethany's implicit charge that homosexuality
and godliness are mutually exclusive), but I think I will leave it at that.

Fiat pax,
-- 
Don Smith                    Robotic Optical Transient Search Experiment
donaldas at umich_edu                          http://xte.mit.edu/~dasmith/

"Some people dream of fortunes, while other people dream of cookies."
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